You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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