Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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