honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
