I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
