My hand turned me down
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize