I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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