i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
