It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
