I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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