its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
