I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
