I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
it hurts more in the daytime
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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