You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
