just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
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On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
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That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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