dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
