How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dude i'm inner monologue high
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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