please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
