As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
