I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize