He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
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She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
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So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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