I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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