We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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