i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
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If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Found the puke drawer
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I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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