Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
