He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
