My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
