fuck your aforementioned shoe
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
