Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
