Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
