I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
