allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
