So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
