its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
