Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
