It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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