He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
