you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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