I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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