UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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