We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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