6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
