she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
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Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
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It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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