You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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