forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
where are my eyebrows?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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