I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
