There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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