the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
