yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
