3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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