i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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