I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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