I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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