She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
