I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
