saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
