The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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