I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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