I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
