1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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