If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
